March 16th, 2010
The High Cost of Selfishness and Self-pity
This essay is my son’s report on “The High Cost of Selfishness and Self-pity”, for his Christian Growth, PACE 136, and it is a subject that is at the heart of many broken marriages and failed friendships. I hope that you enjoy reading it.
The cost of selfishness and self-pity is very high. Selfishness and self-pity lead to many problems in the home. These include domestic disputes, anger, divorce, violence, and affairs among many other things. Selfishness has lead to many unhappy marriages even between committed Christians. Selfishness harbours resent; even though the person may not see the situation as unfair, it may just be their outlook that makes it feel that way. Selfishness is a sin, and sin can take many forms. 2 Corinthians 11:14 says, “And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.” Sin may appear as if you have been wronged, but that is the way that Satan wants you to see it. He likes to disguise sin and deceive Christians with that sin. And [Satan] shall go out to deceive the nations which are in the four quarters of the earth, (Revelation 20:8). It must really grieve God to see His children deceived by the Wicked One.
When marriages end in divorce, it is usually because of selfishness in one or both of the couple’s hearts. What may start out as a trivial matter will then be dwelt upon and fester up inside of one or both of the couple and then grow into resent, which is really selfishness or self-pity in disguise. They will continue to dwell upon the resent until it becomes such a great burden that they explode and the once happy marriage will end in divorce. Satan loves to see marriages fall to pieces as it means that his tactics have worked yet again inside of a happy, successful marriage between two committed Christians. If only married couples realized that resent is really selfishness, and selfishness is really a sin, then many marriages could be saved before they ended in a divorce.
Self-pity has many the same symptoms as selfishness. It can disguise itself just the same under a cloak of “Poor me!” or just like an affiliate link that has been cloaked, it is still self-pity, no matter what disguise it takes. It still takes you to the same endpoint whether it is seen or disguised. If it is disguised it may just take a little longer to get to the same end. Just like an affiliate at the end there is a cost. The cost with self-pity is always high, no matter whether it is “cloaked” or not. It may be a friendship that someone has broken, it may be a marriage that has ended in divorce, or it may be a business venture that has ended in failure.
If you are suffering from selfishness or self-pity, then pray to God that He will help you to find the source of that selfishness or self-pity. Then either remove the source from your life, or ask God to help you overcome the thing that is causing this problem. If you ask God, He will surely help you to overcome that thing in your life – all you have to do is ask.
Original image from here.
I am a daughter of the King of Kings, seeking to live a godly life and mirror the love of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.
Very insightful notes from your son!
Hi Rosemary,
Thank you – my son used to struggle to write 100 word essays, but now he can write 500 word essays easily.
Have a great week,
Blessings,
Jillian ♥
Wow! He did a fantastic job on that essay. Those concepts are difficult for many adults to grasp.
Hi Heather,
If adults were to grasp these concepts as children, there wouldn’t be so many problems in the world.
God’s Word tells us that whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein.
Have a wonderful and blessed week,
Love, Jillian ♥
I agree completely. Have a wonderful Wednesday!
I fully agree with the comment above, this is truly wonderful coming from a young adult.
I do wish more adults could come to terms with these terms
Blessings,
Katia
Hi Heather,
My son’s essay writing skills have come a long way in the last three months.
Have a wonderful and blessed week,
Jillian ♥
Hi Katia,
Thank you – my son’s creative thinking skills are becoming better each day, and I’m enjoying teaching him more and more each day.
Have a wonderful week,
Blessings,
Jillian ♥